


star-crossed lovers

by ValentineRunaway



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Depression, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Angst, Follows the game's storyline, M/M, Machine Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Suicide, Unrequited Love, only a very small mention of self-harm at the end, smut in the second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-19 09:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16532303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValentineRunaway/pseuds/ValentineRunaway
Summary: Gavin Reed has been crushing on Hank Anderson since day one. But even when their paths go different ways, Gavin can't shake off the feeling that he still might have feelings for his old friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I got to start working on some Hank/Gavin, and obviously I wanted to focus on the game's actual story and add some 'Gavin being jealous and a dickhead' stuff. I also tried to write a little differently with this story, I don't know if it's any different from my usual stuff but here it is anyway. Enjoy!  
> A quick thank you for those who have been reading my other works, too. Your comments always cheer up my day and give me much more inspiration to keep writing. So, thank you !

The moment Gavin Reed stepped through the doors of Detroit City Police Department, he was welcomed in by multiple people who would be his new coworkers. But only one of them truly caught his eye. A man with a strong nose, shaved chin and grayish hair that was getting long enough to cover the tips of his ears. He had ocean blue eyes that pierced into his soul with affability and a smile that told Gavin he could be trusted. A lieutenant, and a well known one. A man to look up to. Hank Anderson was tall with a brawny, well-build body that could crush anyone underneath it. But what peeked Gavin's curiosity about him was simply his unique facial features and the warm feeling that came simply with his look.

He had fallen in love with those eyes from the very first second.

Gavin Reed didn't consider himself a person who was attracted to men. But once he got to hear Hank's voice and how deeply it rumbled into his ear drums, he knew he was stuck in deep. The first few weeks, all he could do was follow Hank Anderson whenever he could. He was seen as the man's number one fan. And who wouldn't admire him? Hank was the youngest lieutenant in Detroit history with a number of high-profile arrests and a history of being part of the Red Ice Task Force. Gavin admired him. Many people admired him. And after days of him just watching the man from afar, Hank approached him back. Apparently, Gavin lurking after him wasn't the best way to make friends.

 

A friendship blossomed between them after one single night out at Jimmy's bar. It became a habit of theirs to spend few nights of the week there, drinking and chatting, laughing at stupid stories about their past. Becoming friends with Hank was probably one of the best things that had happened to Gavin. He had first thought that moving into a city as big as Detroit would be difficult, and it was. He had been ready to accept of not having any people to hang out with. But he had been proven wrong. Hank Anderson had noticed Gavin admiring him, or in his own words 'stalking' him, so he had offered Gavin a drink, and a whole lot more.

But Gavin had hoped to develop a friendship with someone else other than the man he was starting to have feelings for. After a few years of being together only as friends, Gavin ended up drinking heavily one night. So heavily that when he and Hank were walking back home, Gavin started talking about his crush. Hank had been first curious, not even judging Gavin about the fact that he was interested in a man. Hank was open minded, after all. But then, things had turned south.

When the night was dark and the leaves were turning red, Gavin had pulled Hank into a kiss under the light of a lamp post. First there had been no reaction. Hank's lips had been soft, a strong scent of alcohol had filled his nostrils and the potent taste of the beer conquered Gavin's mouth. It was definitely the best kiss of his life.

And then he was pushed away. He was shouted at. Turned down. 

"Gavin, I'm sorry. But I can't."

Hank had a wife and a son, god damn it. He explained that he couldn't be with Gavin, not like that. Hank had tried to fix the situation, somehow try to keep their friendship alive. He blamed the alcohol for Gavin's actions, saying that he was extremely inebriated and most likely didn't know what he was doing. But Gavin did.

Gavin Reed had ended their friendship that night before trudging away from the scene.

 

 

There was one way to get rid of a crush. Gavin had thought that saying insults to Hank would work. He wanted to feel anything else but this love and attraction towards a married man. But after weeks and even months, Gavin's feelings for him didn't go away. So he had to find other ways to get over him. Hookups barely helped. Going on actual dates with both females and males only erased his problem for a moment before it came rushing back. Gavin felt helpless. And he thought that it would be better for him to learn how to hate Hank in order to stop loving Hank.

Insults became a normality in their work life. Hank barely paid attention to them because he knew the reason for Gavin's childish behavior. And he never granted Gavin the pleasure for being able to hurt his feelings. Nothing got under his skin. Not after that night.

 

The next time Gavin talked to Hank professionally and without any insults was when his son had passed away. Car crash. Failed surgery. A damn tragedy. After the funeral, Hank's job performance fell to the pit and he pushed everyone and everything out of his life. Everyone but Gavin.

He had stood next to the grave, staring down at the name of his own son and the number of the year of his death that had reached them far too soon. Gavin was next to him, silent but supportive. And that's all Hank needed. A single hug was shared between them. Hank had cried against his shoulder, and Gavin had held onto him for his own dear life, savoring the moment of his warmth pressed against his own body, the feeling of his strong form beneath Gavin's fingers. This was the kind of touch Gavin was yearning for.

Gavin Reed thought that everything had been fixed after that. Both he and Hank despised androids now. Gavin didn't like it that androids were taking over their jobs. Hank blamed androids for the death of his son.

Gavin could be there to support him when Hank had no one left by his side. Divorce was coming up and no more Birthdays were going to be celebrated. Hank needed another friend next to his bottle of whiskey.

But Hank had pushed him away again, and instead welcomed the embrace of his favorite pastime - Alcohol. And Hank became very good friends with anything that made him pass out. So Gavin gave up hope on fixing anything that had been broken between them and did his best to just move on.

There had to be someone else for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**November 6th, 2038**

**12:41 AM**

 

The first time Gavin met this android send by CyberLife was in the interrogation room. While Hank was trying to get information out of the deviant he had caught the other day, Gavin was stuck in the observation room with an RK800 android and his coworker Chris, looking through the two-way mirror. This deviant was covered in blood, - an obvious suspect, a guilty one -, for murdering its owner with twenty-eight stabs done with a kitchen knife. A case that was already solved in his own opinion. But this new android who named itself 'Connor' insisted that they stayed here, in the middle of the damn night, interrogating a damn machine that gave no reaction whatsoever. What a waste of time.

When Hank had been done trying to interrogate it, he stormed back into the observation room. "We're wastin' our time interrogating a machine, we're gettin' nothing out of it!" he had shouted before seating himself down.

"'Could always try roughing it up a little", Gavin suggested, folding his arms over his chest, one leg pressed against the stone hard wall behind him. His eyes focused on Hank. "After all, it's not human."

And then, Connor stepped in, even when it wasn't asked to. "Androids don't feel pain. You would only damage it and that wouldn't make it talk."   

Gavin hated that this nosy ass android had been build for the sole purpose of catching deviants, machines with their own free will. He stared at it, hating the suit, hating that hairstyle with a few strands out of their place, hating its baby soft face. "Deviants also have a tendency to self-destruct when they're in stressful situations", Connor continued. 

"Okay, smartass", Gavin approached the android, feeling so pissed off he wanted to punch the thing in the face. He gave Connor a cocky look, challenging a fight. "What should we do then?"

Connor seemed to think for a while before it turned its eyes on the deviant. "I could try questioning it."

Gavin Reed laughed at that. What a joke. He walked back over to the wall, crossing his arms again and leaning against the cold surface. He could not erase the wide grin from his face. He expected for his two other coworkers to say something on the matter so they could get out of here, but Hank gave the RK800 an approving look and shrugged. "What do we have to lose?" he said, waving his hand as a gesture to get in. "Go ahead, suspect's all yours."

Gavin's grin disappeared immediately as he watched the android step out and move to the interrogation room with the deviant. Why would Hank trust this android? Gavin couldn't understand it. He thought that Hank despised androids, just like he did. But apparently something has made him change his mind.

He didn't like the feeling that made his chest tight.

 

 

\--

 

 

"For the first time, I felt ... scared."

 

Gavin hated the proud look on Hank's face when the android got the deviant to talk. They got a confession, answers to questions, some kind of a clue of what's going on in a deviant's mind. Hank seemed pleased on Connor's performance. Hank used to be pleased on whatever Gavin got right. Gavin clenched his hand into a fist, knowing that he had found a enemy. Stupid jealousy.

The three officers moved out of their seats to go take the deviant back to its cell once Connor was finished. "Chris, lock it up", Gavin ordered once they stepped inside the interrogation room. He walked past Connor, giving a strong, annoyed look to let it know it hasn't done anything special. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to fight against an android that had no emotions. Not like Connor would feel hurt by his actions, or care.

Chris moved to free the deviant from its handcuffs and ordered it to move. The deviant stayed still in its seat, eyes glued down on the table. Chris laid his hand on the deviant's back who quickly leaned away from him. "Don't touch me!" it pleaded out, hands pressed close against its chest as some kind of a shield.

"The fuck are you doing? Move it!" Gavin shouted, but the deviant refused to obey. He had never seen a machine act like this. Or act like Connor.

"You shouldn't touch it. It'll self-destruct if it feels threatened", Connor interfered. Gavin squinted at the machine. "Stay outta this, got it? No fuckin' android is gonna tell me what to do."

Chris tried to forcefully make the deviant move, but it did not budge. It wiggled away from Chris' arms, refusing to be touched. Whimpering. It looked afraid, just like it had claimed to be. But androids couldn't be afraid. They couldn't feel emotions. That's why the deviants were so dangerous, unpredictable. This one had even stabbed a man to his death, 28 damn times. 

The RK800 raised his voice: "You don't understand. If it self-destructs, we won't get anything out of it!"

Gavin fucking lost it at that point. "I told you to shut your fuckin' mouth!" he shouted back at it, giving the android a glare before he turned back to his coworker trying to get the deviant on its feet. "Chris, gonna move this asshole or what?"

"I'm trying!"

 

The deviant was whimpering, shaking in its seat in blood covered clothes, eyes just begging to be left alone. And Connor doesn't seem pleased by the situation. The android stepped in, raising its voice: "I can't let you do that! Leave it alone, now!" Connor put his hand on Chris and pushed the officer away, moving in front of the deviant, acting as a damn protective angel. Now that was a step far too large to be taken. This android had just put its hands on an officer and refused orders. That was a threat.

Gavin acted fast and pulled out his gun, pointing it between the android's eyes. "I warned you, motherfucker!"

"That's enough!" Hank finally stepped in after watching from the sidelines long enough. Hearing his voice got Gavin's heart pounding again. But he couldn't let his feelings take over him. Not now. His cold side always managed to break free first before his vulnerability would take over.

"Mind your own business, Hank", he growled, eyes refusing to break away from Connor's. 

"I said 'That's enough'." 

Hank pulled out his own gun and pointed it at Gavin. At  _him._ Why was Hank protecting this piece of plastic? What the hell had happened between them when they were assigned to be partners? Partners. Hank and  _fucking_ Connor. No longer Hank and Gavin. He hated this. He hated this damn android that Hank seemed to be fucking in love with, or whatever. Gavin Reed felt betrayed. Not like he and Hank had been friends since things got messed up. Nothing had been right between them for years. But this? Gavin felt like that this was surely the end of them.

He turned to look at the android again, boiling with anger as he lowered his gun with a curse.

"You're not gonna get away with it this time", Gavin growled and pointed at the man he once loved. Still loved. Gavin glared at Connor who looked completely clueless of what it had done wrong before he stormed out with another curse.

Gavin could not believe the way he was feeling. He had just been able to stop dreaming about Hank and act normal around him. But now this android was here. Fucking Connor. Hank had given the android that same proud look he had given to Gavin on his first day at the station. It hurt. Gavin realized immediately that he was feeling jealous over an android that had been build to be pretty for the eye. He needed a smoke. A long smoke break, and then some sleep before he would have to continue working in a few hours when the sun rose back up.

 

 

 

 

**09:57 AM**

 

The damn android stepped inside the coffee break room when he and Tina had been chatting. Well, Tina was just listening while Gavin ranted about things. It just walked in like it owned the place, and Gavin already knew what Connor was doing here. He was looking for Hank. Gavin hated how it made him feel. Empty. Jealous. So much regret for being an ass to Hank even when he had the change to be with him again, even as friends. And now this android was getting in Hank's personal circle, getting to know him. He hated that. Gavin pushed those feelings away by teasing the android, clapping his hands together and ironically congratulated the android for the job he did last night.

And the damn plastic detective just turned around, said _'Hello. My name is Connor'_ , and left it at that.

Gavin hated this thing. He approached it, challenging it. He had never seen an android like this before. 'A prototype' for android detectives that were going to replace them all. How could anyone accept this? Sooner or later both he and Hank were on early retirement. The worst thing was that this machine didn't seem bothered by the idea at all. It was build to just serve, after all. Why would it care about anything?

"Bring me a coffee, dipshit. Get a move on!" Gavin said. He thought that it would be fun to make an android build to be the new Sherlock Holmes do something so easy. It would be humiliating. At least in moments like these where he could poke fun at the machine, Gavin felt a little better about himself.

But the damn thing didn't move. "I'm sorry, but I only take orders from Lieutenant Anderson", it had said.

A bloody pet for Hank. No wonder why the man liked this piece of plastic so much. Gavin felt rage. Stupid jealousy. Emotions that ruined him as a person. He put them out in one single punch against Connor's gut that made him collapse onto the floor. He looked down at the machine, pretending to be in pain like it was a human. Gavin despised androids. Taking over their jobs, killing the ones they were supposed to serve. Unable to save a child's life. Unknown to feelings like love, but maybe not for long.

"If Hank hadn't got in the way yesterday, I would've fucked you up for disobeying a human", he said to the machine. Connor gave him a look - Something was hidden beneath those eyes, but he could not tell what it was. He hated that look.

He leaned down so his face was on the same low level as Connor's. "Stay outta my way, 'cause next time ... you won't get off so easy."

Gavin pressed his fingers against Connor's temple and forced him to look back down at the ground, where he should be looking. He stormed off, feeling ... uneasy. Gavin doesn't know why. He just felt angry all the time, feeling hate towards anything and everyone who made his life harder. Damn androids taking their jobs. Damn Connor that was closer to Hank than Gavin was. Damn Hank Anderson. But Connor didn't know Hank's past. He didn't share the memories he shared with the man. He didn't know anything. 

Gavin needed another smoke break to cool himself down. His feelings for Hank were coming back faster once again.

 

 

 

 

**08:20 PM**

 

The androids in the Eden Club were build to satisfy people's needs. Males, females. All with pretty faces and with the ideal body type. Made to be perfect. Gavin, surprisingly, didn't like them. He had grown to love a man who was imperfect. Hank didn't have the small nose or the pouty lips, he didn't have the pretty face dolls had. He didn't have the perfect lean body, not even when he was young. Hank was always a little chubby, large and wide, but still strong. His body most likely had hair on it, soft floppy spots to grab onto, scars and tattoos he regret having. 

That was perfection for Gavin. Imperfection was the new perfection. The new beauty. He has never seen Hank nude. Only small hints in the station's locker rooms, enough to let his imagination run wild. And to him, Hank had the ideal body type. Gavin liked the 'realness' humans had. Sure, androids that were build for satisfaction were pretty. But they had no signs of life, no marks with stories behind them. They were the perfect creations, and Gavin didn't like that.

 

Gavin Reed wasn't sure how long he was in that room with the red lights, when both Hank and Connor ended up in there, wanting to solve a homicide. An obvious case in his eyes, once again. Human dead on the bed, an android in pieces on the floor. A fun night ended in misery. Nothing else to see. And of course, this case was also given to the two partners. Sherlock and Watson. 

"Lieutenant Anderson and his plastic pet ... The fuck are you two doin' here?" Gavin asked, looking around the crime scene with not much interest to detect. His mind was busy anyway, thanks to this android that awakened his feelings for Hank he's been trying to push away. All he could do now is be jealous and regret for being such a dick for all these years. But there was no going back now, was there?

"We've been assigned all cases involving androids", answered the damn prototype of a machine that was going to replace the whole station some day.

"Oh, yeah?" Gavin shook his head. "Well, you're wasting your time. Just some pervert who, uh -", he chuckled, "- got more action than he could handle."

Gavin Reed ended his sentence in laughter and gave a look at the lieutenant. Hank seemed friendlier at the moment, a bit happier. It made Gavin's heart flutter. But he hated that the possible reason for Hank's good mood was the damn machine. What did Connor have that he didn't?

"We'll have a look anyway, if you don't mind", Hank said as friendly as he could. 'We'. He and Connor. Partners. 

Gavin clenched his hand into a fist. Now wasn't the time to start crying over a man who had said 'no' a long time ago. "Come on, let's go", he called out to his coworker who was just wasting his time there.

Gavin moved to walk past Hank, only for a second allowing himself to admire how the red light of the room was shining against the man's form. How his grizzled hair was hanging almost all the way down to his shoulders, how even his untrimmed beard looked good on him. And how those ridiculous shirts actually fit him. Gavin wished he could look at him for longer, tell Hank how truly handsome he was.

But all he can say on the way out is: "It's, uh, starting to stink of booze in here."

Gavin doesn't care about the smell. He liked Hank's manly musk and the booze was a part of it. And the booze was always a part of his fantasies.

Gavin left the scene by colliding into Connor, feeling defeated. Heartbroken. Hopeless. So fucking stupid for still feeling love towards a man who would never answer his emotions. He stormed out of the whole club and returned to the station, feeling so angry he could barely work. So for now, he would just wait for some news about Lieutenant Anderson.

 

 

 

Two deviants were shot that night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**November 9th, 2038**

**04:16 PM**

 

Gavin can't see much what's going on in Fowler's office, but since his office was a bloody fish tank he could tell that the news weren't too great. Hank Anderson was having an argument with his boss who kept fighting back. And apparently, Hank didn't get what he wanted. Gavin could tell what the news were about. He had heard about the FBI taking over the android cases because things were turning into a damn civil war. And obviously, Hank was taken off the case. His android partner didn't seem to care much.

He watched from afar, sipping on his coffee as he tried to read lips. But it was impossible to read them from this far away. But he can see what happened next as clearly as the day.

Hank reached into his jacket and took his gun out, placing it on Jeffrey's table. Then, his badge flew over on the desk. Gavin froze completely. His face went place and he almost dropped his damn coffee on the ground, but 'luckily' he just spilled a little over to his hand. He decided to put his drink down and return to look towards the fish tank they called Fowler's office.

Hank was giving up his badge. Giving up his job as the Lieutenant. 

 

The door flew open and Hank stormed out. He looked defeated, disappointed, betrayed. Like there was no point to come here again. Hank glanced at his desk, standing in front of it for a long moment. It seemed like he was trying to see if he had anything there he wanted to take with him. But he left his desk untouched. 

Hank lifted his head up and locked eyes with Gavin. And Gavin had no idea what he should do. He should look away, sit back down and return to his work. But here he is, leaning against his desk, staring right into Hank's soul, his fingers debating whether he should pick up his coffee and drink from it, or leave it.

Gavin swallowed when Hank approached him. He walked slowly towards the detective, his eyes never leaving his. Gavin couldn't break the intense eye contact they had. His heart was starting to pound heavily in his chest, because he could feel that something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Hank always had some kind of an aura around him. And now that aura seemed to be a simple strong shadow.

Hank stopped in front of him, closer than he has been in years, just barely leaving space between their bodies. He stared at Gavin, and it had been so long since the last time Gavin has gotten a good look at those blue sparkling eyes of his. Expect those eyes were now longer sparkling with hope and enthusiasm. Now they were a pair of eyes that belonged to a tired old man who seemed sadder than ever before.

"Somethin' you want?" Gavin asked strictly, pocketing his left hand into his jeans. He tried to give some kind of a smug grin to the man, but it disappeared when he saw no reaction on Hank's face. He just stared. His eyes were empty, face blank and emotionless. His other hand was fidgeting with its fingers.

"Reed", Hank said. His head fell down for a moment. "No. Gavin."

It's been so long since Gavin has heard Hank call him by his first name. It made his heart skip a beat. It made him completely lose his voice and his 'I don't give a shit about anyone' - attitude. All Gavin could do was stare up at Hank, this large man that could punch his teeth in if he wanted to.

Hank took a deep breath. His eyes closed for a moment, and once they opened again there was a little more color in them. Something Gavin hasn't seen since the night he kissed him all those years ago.

 

 

"Do you still have feelings for me?"

 

 

Hank's voice was deep, rumbling through his body and out of his mouth. It gave shivers to Gavin. He just blinked, his mouth locking open.  _What the hell was he supposed to say to that?_ Gavin wasn't ready to confess. How could he? He couldn't tell Hank that even after all these years, he still was head over heels for this man. How could he tell Hank that despite him being a jackass at work, at home before bed he kept imagining about life with Hank and how different things could have been? Gavin couldn't say anything to Hank. He couldn't.

Gavin has been trying to get over him for so long. He has tried being an ass, he has tried being even a bully. He has tried to hate Anderson just so he could get over him and move on with his life because Hank could never love him. But nothing had worked. Nothing will probably ever work. Gavin felt like that he was stuck in this spot, his heart always going crazy when Hank was near him.

 

Hank's hand suddenly reached for his. His fingers trailed over the back of his hand, asking for a permission to hold onto him.

"Gavin. Please", Hank growled at him. He sounded angrier now. "Answer the question."

 

Gavin would never confess. Not like this, at least. He needed time. He needed to be sure. He needed to be ready to face rejection again. So, he looked at Hank and shook his head. 

"No", Gavin said strictly, giving Hank a strong look back. "No, I don't."

 

Hank drew his hand away. Gavin could still feel the ghostly touch over the back of his hand. Hank looked back at Gavin, looking angrier than ever. And then his face relaxed. His brows curled up, his mouth frowned. His eyes lost all of their color, their will to live. It was the most defeated look Gavin had ever seen. Even people who were sentenced to death didn't look that sad. But Hank did. He looked heartbroken. 

"Fine", Hank said. 

And then he turned in his heels and continued heading for the exit. Gavin wanted to shout after him, or at least run after him even if he wasn't sure what to say, but his body was completely frozen. Gavin couldn't bring himself to move. He was completely in shock, feeling so weak in his knees that he felt like crashing down on the floor. All he could hear was his own heart beat drumming wildly against his chest and Hank's question repeating itself in Gavin's head. And Gavin could never answer it truthfully.

 

Gavin Reed hated himself.

 

 

 

 

**November 11th, 2038**

**10:07 AM**

 

Hank Anderson hasn't come to work since he gave up his badge. It was expected, wasn't it? He had quit his job after all. But Gavin still was hoping the man would return. Hank's belongings were still at his desk even if he had decided he didn't need any of them. And Fowler had called the man over and over again yesterday, trying to reach him and put some sense into his head. Hank never answered his phone.

Gavin felt regret for not telling him the truth. He should have confessed. He should have said something, at least. He should have been there for Hank when he needed support the most. Gavin and Hank had been friends, after all. Best friends forever. Even if things had turned like shit, Gavin was sure they both missed that friendship. There were many good memories they shared.

Gavin should have embraced him. Maybe Hank just needed a friend to talk to. Even if Gavin saw more than friendship between them.

 

He hated himself. Gavin didn't know how he could ever forgive himself. Right now when it was too late, he was ready to confess.

So he would.

 

 

Probably for the first time in his life, Gavin has bought flowers. They are Zinnia flowers, colored yellow and magenta. Almost complementary colors. He had bought them from the nearest flower shop and got them wrapped up nicely with a pretty little red bow around them with a card hanging off from it.

As he walked into the station, making his way towards Hank's desk, everyone watched him like Gavin Reed holding a bouquet of flowers was the weirdest thing they had seen in their lives. Gavin ignored all the looks he was given and stopped by Hank's desk. He looked at it for long, feeling heavy in his heart. Gavin swallowed strongly and laid the flowers down on the desk, hoping that Hank would come soon to give the flowers a home to go to.

And he surely hoped the man would read the note Gavin had written him.

 

 

 

 _'The answer is yes.'_  


	2. Chapter 2

**November 12th, 2038**

**05:32 AM**

 

 

Gavin was not prepared to wake up from his couch, only wearing yesterday's shirt, boxers and colorful socks that were covered in holes. He doesn't remember drinking so much that beer cans were over the floor and the table, surrounding him like a prison wall. Gavin felt sick as hell, like he was going to faint if he would get up and get to his own bed. He doesn't remember smelling this goddamn bad. When was the last time he took a shower, again?

He blinked a couple of times before releasing a groan and closing his eyes again. He wanted to sleep so badly. But his head was aching like hell and something had woken up. He wasn't sure what it was, until it happened again. 

The damn doorbell. 

It rang again. Then again. It rang so many times that Gavin could no longer just ignore it and hope whoever was behind the door would leave. Because they weren't leaving. The doorbell was ringing for minutes, fucking minutes. Gavin growled, rubbed his eyes before kicking his legs up in the air and then swinging them to the ground. He forced himself to get up despite the fact his damn head was humming and it was hard to get his eyes open.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fuckin' coming!" Gavin shouted and stood up, slowly making his way up to the front door. He kept banging against the walls, loosing his balance but quickly getting it back. He had to get that damn ringing to stop. When he finally reached the door, he unlocked it and swung it open.

"The fuck?"

 

It was Hank. 

Hank was standing in front of him, looking exactly the same as before. Same shirt he wore before he left work, the same sad expression on his face. His hands were buried deep in his pockets and he stood tall, back straight and chin up. And to Gavin's surprise, the man made a weak smile and greeted him. It was like seeing a damn ghost.

Gavin blinked a few times, rubbing his head. Why would Hank even be here? It wasn't physically possible that this man would be standing by his front door. It just wasn't possible.

"No. Go away", Gavin muttered. His hand moved over his eyes, his head fell down as he leaned against the doorway. "I can't even look at you right now."

"I think we need to talk, Gavin", Hank said quietly. 

"Right now?" Reed looked behind him, gazing over at the clock. "It's way too fucking early for this, Hank."

Hank seemed to disagree. He stepped closer, moving his other hand away from the pocket of his jacket and pressed it against the doorway. His form leaned in closer, so close that when Gavin finally lifted his eyes back to the man, they were only inches apart. Just like at work. Gavin might be tired and a bit hungover, but just being that close to Hank sobered him up in seconds. He stared at him intently, trying to understand what the hell was going on.

"I saw the flowers", Hank said calmly. His grip on the wooden frame hardened. "They were real pretty."

Gavin just blinked. And stared silently. He hadn't left his name on the card, but he guessed the message he had written there was an obvious hint that lead Hank to him. This meant that Hank had returned to work, after all. Who knows why. But he had been there, and he had seen the flowers, and he had decided he wanted to go and see Gavin Reed. Gavin wasn't sure if leaving those flowers had been the right or the wrong thing to do.

Hank chuckled. "Daily remembrance and lasting affection. Didn't take you as a guy who would put so much attention in buying flowers."

"Roses seemed a little too obvious", Gavin muttered. "Didn't want everyone to know what ... what I felt towards you."

Gavin wasn't sure why he said that. Now Hank definitely knew that Gavin was still crazy about him. Not like the card hadn't been pretty obvious, anyway. The man didn't say anything for a while. Hank just looked around and then nodded like he understood. "May I come in?"

 

He doesn't wait for an approval. Hank stepped inside like he owned the place, only taking a few steps before he stopped to stand near the wall that had been painted faintly grey. Gavin just sighed and closed the door. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to throw Hank out of his apartment. But it was almost 6AM and he barely had energy to do anything right now. So he just gave up and moved to stand in front of Hank, leaning against the opposite wall so there was enough space between them.

Hank was fully dressed. Slightly baggy jeans, mud covered shoes, that crazy patterned shirt that hurt his eyes. His old trusty coat was the same as always. Hank has worn the same thing for years, who knows why. Both his hair and beard were messy, untamed, out of order. Hank looked tired, yet somehow more alive compared to the last time Gavin saw him. Gavin felt like a complete opposite to this man. He was just in his damn underwear, a shirt with some kind of a stain on it and socks that had seen better days. His hair was sticking out to every direction and Gavin needed to shave again. He looked like a goddamn mess, that's what. 

"So", Hank moved his hands back inside his pockets. "You lied to me."

Gavin wanted to yell at him until his throat would hurt. But it was true, he had indeed lied. Gavin couldn't bring himself to say anything - He just looked down at the ground or looked somewhere to his right, pretending he was checking the clock again or something. Hank released a loud sigh. "You know, I would have preferred if ya told me about your feelings face to face. That's why I asked."

"I couldn't fuckin' say it, okay?" Gavin spat out. He tried to put his own hands into his pockets, but forgot he didn't have any, so he ended up resting them against his hips. 

Gavin rubbed his chin, taking a deep breath. Was Hank here because he wanted Gavin to confess? Then he was going to confess so he could soon get the man out of here and get back to sleep. Get back to living without the man breathing on his neck all the damn time. It took him a full damn minute before he could talk again. "I feel like an idiot for still liking you after all these years."

"It's a bit too late to tell me about your feelings now, Gavin", Hank stated, tilting his head to the side a little. "I wish you would have told me the truth when I asked. Now I'm -"

"I know!" Gavin shouted. "I know. I should have said it before ... you left."

Silence fell between them for uncomfortably long. The air between them was thick, strong, suffocating. Gavin couldn't even look at the man in front of him. 

He wished they would have ended things in amicable terms, with propriety. But Gavin was a damn hurricane who torn down buildings and cut down trees when something went wrong in the world. He was arrogant as hell, did and said stupid things without thinking first, and at the end Gavin always ended up alone with multiple enemies but no allies. So of course he had fucked every chance he had to be with Hank. He should have just confessed when he could have. But now it was too damn late for that.

Gavin was so damn indecisive. He didn't know what he wanted. He just stared at Hank, letting the silence take completely over them, allowing the darkness of the early morning swallow them into the shadows. He was debating whether he should just make Hank leave or still try to talk things out. He was inebriated, and he was depressed, and he was in no condition to have a proper conversation about the mess that had build up between them.

But minutes pass and Hank just stood there, waiting patiently. A prestigious man with so much good done in his past was in front of him, still giving Gavin a second chance to try and do something right in his life for once. Gavin envied him. He didn't give himself second chances.

 

 

"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" Hank finally broke the silence. And when Gavin looked up at him, the man was smiling. Such a friendly, welcoming expression, something that told Gavin that 'it was alright'. Hank didn't seem angry, not anymore. Hank looked like he had forgiven himself, and forgiven Gavin. He looked like he was in a better place now. 

Gavin closed his eyes and released a violent sob. He couldn't hold it back anymore. His hands pressed against his head as his face turned down towards the floor, teeth pressing together. He felt weak. So, so weak.

"I'm so sorry", he whimpered. Gavin hated it when he got like this. All this time he had been able to push his feelings away and pretend he was alright by acting like a tough asshole, but when he was alone at home, fucking drunk, he got emotional. So emotional that his eyes were puffy and his face turned glowing red. Gavin's teeth clacked together, his breathing shuddering through his lungs as he tried to speak without choking on the lump in his throat. "I should have said 'yes'. I should have told you the truth."

More tears fell down his face.

"Why didn't you?" Hank asked, his voice so calm and relaxed. It almost scared him.

"I don't know. I don't know", Gavin mumbled. "I was afraid. Fucking afraid. Jesus."

Gavin leaned against the wall, the back of his head banging against it a little too hard. But at this point he didn't care. He took a deep breath, inhaled in and then released. He needed to take another one before he could find himself able to talk again. "I -", he started, but then stopped. His voice completely lost itself before another sob came out of him. This was too hard. His head was still banging from drinking too much and he just wanted to lay down. 

He swallowed and pressed his head against the wall again. Gavin opened his eyes.

Hank was right there. In front of him. Once again, leaving barely any space between their bodies. Gavin's intestines twisted and tied themselves into a knot as their eyes met. Hank was holding his breath. So was Gavin.

"Say it", Hank ordered quietly. He raised his left hand slowly and pressed it against the wall, right by Gavin's head. Gavin bit down onto his lip and shook his head. Another tear rolled down his cheek. He couldn't handle this. He wasn't good with words. He wasn't good at talking with Hank. A man he has loved for so long, yet has pretended he was an enemy because Gavin was too damn afraid to just tell him the truth. 

"It's too late", Gavin muttered quietly. He noticed Hank was leaning in closer. The man's right hand moved to cup his cheek, his large thumb swiping underneath his eye to get rid of the tear. Gavin could feel his breath blow against his face. He closed his eyes, because he was  _afraid._

"It's never too late", the man assured him. Gavin knew he was so close. Far too close for comfort, but yet Gavin couldn't push him away. He didn't want to. His lips parted automatically, his hands squeezed into tight fists. His legs almost went limb under him when he could feel a pair of lips press against his.

 

A kiss.

 

Hank was kissing him.

 

 

It's chaste, gentle, just barely there. And when he pulled back, Gavin was moving closer, wanting more. But Hank just pulled back a tiny bit more, like it was his way of saying  _'no more kisses, unless you say it'._ Gavin swallowed, still refusing to open his eyes. "I miss you", he said, his voice barely loud enough to be considered a whisper. But it was loud enough for Hank to hear it in this deafening silence of the early morning when it was still dark, only a few rays of sunshine peeking through the clouds. It was just them. 

Hank leaned in again, pressing their lips together. It was much stronger this time. He could feel it and know it was really there. Hank tasted exactly the same as all those years ago. A strong hint of whiskey was lingering still inside his mouth, then something much sweeter that the man was born with. It was wet and salty. Most likely because of the tears. 

Gavin didn't know what he was supposed to do. He couldn't understand why Hank was kissing him, or why he was holding him so close. He wanted to ask why. Why now? Gavin wanted to ask if Hank felt the same way towards him, after all. Maybe that's why he had asked about it. And Gavin had said no, turned him down in return.

But now he was kissing the man. In his own apartment. In his damn underwear. And even if Gavin hadn't showered and he was suffering from one hell of a headache, he would still call this moment perfect. He didn't want to let go of it.

His hands slowly raised up, first reaching for Hank's jacket and then following the buttons up. His hands moved to grab onto the collar and he pulled Hank closer, kissing him harder, promising himself that he was not going to let this moment pass. Hank seemed pleased by his reaction. He pressed Gavin harder against the wall, one hand still holding onto his cheek while the other one moved to his waist. Hank's large form pressed against Gavin's and he completely melted, quietly whining against the kiss that helped him to stop the tears.

Gavin wanted more. He has been dreaming about this for so long, and if it was true that Hank maybe liked him back, then he was going to at least try to get more of this. So, he poked the man's lip with his tongue and then rocked forward with his hips.

Hank pulled back. _No. No, not yet._

"Gavin", Hank simply breathed out his name. And that seemed to be the only thing he needed to say.

Gavin grabbed tightly onto his shirt, pressing his forehead against the man's chest. "Please", he panted out, then sniffed violently. "Don't leave me."

 

 

Sometimes people just weren't meant to be together. Or then they were, but the world around them fought against it. Whatever it was, Gavin knew that he and Hank could never be 'a thing'. They could never be the kind of lovers you see in those romantic comedies. There was no happy ending for them, not anymore. But if Gavin could just have this one night with him to show Hank how much he actually loved him, then that was enough. Gavin couldn't fucking live his life without letting Hank know the truth. He couldn't.

He lifted his head up and kissed Hank again. His hands wrapped around the man, moving behind his neck. He tiptoed a little to reach him properly, Gavin's body leaning against the lieutenant's softer form. And Hank welcomed him. No more words were needed, or wanted. Gavin just wanted to feel less regret and pain, and feel more love.

Hank's hands wrapped around his waist and he started walking backwards, seeming to know exactly where to go despite being blind and completely focused on kissing Gavin like there was no tomorrow. He slowly walked through a doorway, then turned them around and guided Gavin to lay down on the bed. His heart picked up its speed as Gavin felt the bed creak under their weight, the bed sheets welcoming him in. Hank climbed over his body, completely trapping Gavin underneath him and he was sure that at this moment he was going to pass out.

The kiss lasted for so long that Gavin swore the next time he opened his eyes, there was light coming from the outside through his window blinds. The soft morning sun was hitting over Hank's face just perfectly, creating an imperfect scenery of a literal angel. Hank's hands moved up and down his sides, his body picking itself up so he could get a better look at Gavin. He was sprawled over the bed with a needy, yet still a little lost look in his eyes, an obvious tent underneath his boxers. Gavin was already panting like he had just ran a marathon, his lips parted and eyes widely open. He couldn't believe this was happening.

Hank slid his hands underneath his shirt, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor. He then finally decided to undress himself, too. The jacket slid down from his shoulders, a few buttons from his shirt opened. Gavin could just watch. Hank was going to be nude. He could finally see him.

He still had the same tattoo over his chest. Hank got it when he was younger, he wasn't as hairy and scarred as he was now. But he was still beautiful. Bullet wounds and lines of scars covered his body, obvious extra fat surrounded his hips and stomach, wrinkles were carved over the corners of his eyes. Gavin has always liked the way Hank looked like. He would be lying if he said he hasn't been trying to take a peek in the locker rooms. It was never much to go with, but from whatever little detail he had been able to catch, Gavin had liked it. And now he got to see so much more.

Their lips connect again as Hank opened his own belt buckle and pulled the zipper down. Gavin doesn't even care that the man still had his dirty shoes on. He doesn't care. He wanted to be touched so badly, and thankfully Hank was a bloody mind reader.

 

The lieutenant's hands caressed his upper body, traveling down the sides, counting the ribs, thumbs running over his nipples. Gavin whined against his lips, kissing him harder, his hips rolling up from the mattress. Even when things were finally getting heated, Gavin just felt like crying. His eyes were constantly wet, even a few sobs escaped into the kiss. But Hank just kissed him harder, his hands trying to pat him as to say  _'It's going to be okay',_ even when it wasn't.

When Hank pulled back, he was reaching behind the pillows where there was a lube hidden between the mattress and the headboard. How did he ...

"Have you done this before?" Hank asked as he opened the cap and spurted some lube over onto his fingers. His clean hand moved over to caress Gavin's lower abdomen before his fingers bend underneath the waistband of his boxers. He started pulling them down and Gavin lifted his bottom up as he shook his head as an answer. He hasn't done this before. He has done this by himself with his own hand and fingers, but that has been it. Not much experience to go with.

Hank threw the boxers away so hard that they smacked against a wall and heavily dropped onto the floor. Gavin felt so exposed when Hank spread his legs open, lifting them up so his entrance was visible. No one has seen Gavin like this. Naked and spread open, exposed completely. His cock was leaking and his hole gaping when Hank pressed a lube covered finger against it.

It felt cold. Which made Gavin start believing this was reality. Or then a really realistic drunk dream.

"H-Hank", Gavin rasped out. He didn't even know what to say. He frantically opened his legs and threw his head back, his chest heaving strongly and whole body burning. Gavin wanted this. He has wanted this since the first time he saw Hank. But something was still so heavy in his heart, and Gavin couldn't fully enjoy this moment he has been dreaming of for years.

Another tear formed over to the corner of his eye and fell down the side of his head.

 

 

A finger pushed inside him slowly. 

Gavin tossed his head back and groaned, his legs twitching as the finger buried itself inside him only to the first knuckle. He did his best to relax himself, inhaling and exhaling air heavily into his lungs as Hank buried his finger deeper. As expected, Hank felt huge, even if it was a simple index finger buried inside his ass.

As Hank started moving the finger inside and out, Gavin started finding it easier to take it in and he relaxed against the sheets, either having his eyes closed or looking up at the roof. Gavin took deep breaths and put his attention elsewhere as Hank moved his finger inside and out, his muscles squeezing around the man. 

Another finger started pushing past the rim of muscles and Gavin's back arched violently. His body went stiff and his eyes closed tightly together, hands pulling at the sheets. Even with the lube that helped him to take the fingers inside him, Gavin felt like it was too much to take. It was tight, burning tight. His body stiffened again and this time it was so much harder to relax, and Hank noticed it.

The lieutenant shushed him, starting to plant kisses over Gavin's chest, reassuring the man he was held in good hands. His kisses traveled down his body, falling below the ribs and then to the lower part of his stomach. And then,  _finally,_ Hank released a hot breath against Gavin's cock.

"Please", Gavin panted out, trying to relax against the mattress. 

"Please what?" Hank said, crooking an eyebrow. That was the Hank he knew - Teasing, cocky as hell, always wanting a challenge.

Gavin inhaled heavily, trying to do multiple things at the same time. He tried to relax so Hank's fingers could enter him easier. He tried to move his hips and guide his cock towards Hank's mouth. And at the same time he had to try and talk. "Please ... Fuck", Gavin whined. This was so unusual of him. He never begged. Gavin wasn't like that at all. But he allowed himself to surrender if it was for Hank.

"Please suck my cock", he finally spat out, unable to meet the intense gaze Hank was giving him.

 

Hank seemed pleased of what he had heard and did exactly as he was asked to with no complaints at all. First there was a chaste kiss on top of his cock, like it was some kind of a test. Then, there were more kisses running down his shaft. Clearly teasing. Gavin whined and tossed his head to the side, fighting so hard to not be begging again, and thank Lord Hank finally got the hint.

The warmth of his mouth surrounded the head of his cock faster than Gavin had expected, making his back arch and mouth lock open. Hank hollowed his cheeks, sucking on him heavily, even releasing hums and even a few moans against his cock as his way of saying he liked the taste. And it made Gavin completely lose it. His whole body became brittle and weak, his legs suddenly feeling like jello. The more Hank swallowed him, the harder it was to stay still. Gavin released a choked moan, trying to grasp a sense of what was real and what was not, and if this was just one of his dirty dreams. It felt far too good for him to believe he deserved this kind of pleasure. 

As Hank started moving his head up and down, swallowing Gavin's cock easily without choking on it at all, his fingers continued moving inside Gavin. In and out, in and out, sliding deeper each time. Gavin was losing his damn mind. His headache was still there to make the whole world around him spin, and Hank fucking Anderson had his fingers opening him up, and his pretty stupid lips where sucking on his cock. And Hank was incredibly good at it. Or maybe it has been way too long since the last time that even an inexperienced mouth felt like Heaven.

His fingers spread apart from each other, stretching Gavin open slowly. He isn't sure how long he was laying down on his bed - for few minutes or almost an hour. Hank was working on him so slowly and cautiously that time was nothing more but a conspiracy to make a perfect moment like this stop. Because suddenly Gavin felt like he was going to cum. 

Hank hummed against his flesh, his head starting to bob up and down faster, his fingers moving in and out, opening wider, fingering Gavin. He tried to hold on for his dear life, but then Hank's fingers dived in deep and curled, hitting something that made his eyes open wide.

"Stop", Gavin panted, sitting up. Hank just opened his eyes and removed his fingers before he lowered his head, taking all of Gavin deep inside his mouth. It was the most arousing thing Gavin had seen. Hank's blue eyes looking up at him, such heat hidden underneath the color. His lips tightly wrapped around his cock that was down his throat, Hank's tongue trapped under its weight. Few strands of his grey hair had fallen over his face, and after a nervous swallow Gavin reached for them with his hand, stroking them out of the man's way.

Hank finally listened and pulled back, inhaling air deeply. He wasted no time to get his own belt open, deciding to simply pull his cock out and leave his pants on. Gavin stared. He stared for long. Hank's cock was just a bit longer than his own, and much thicker. He had a strong bush of pubic hair at the base of it, and as Hank took the lube and started coating himself on it, his cock seemed to twitch a little from the contact. It wasn't the kind of dick Gavin had imagined the man to have - His daydreams included Hank with a long slender cock, the kind you saw on porn a lot. But he was still staring, admiring it, wanting it inside him no matter how bad it would hurt.

 

 

"Open your legs", Hank growled, so turned on you could hear the neediness in his voice. Gavin obeyed. He laid down and took a comfortable position, grabbing a pillow from the side and positioning it under his hips. He may be a little drunk and suffering from a horrible headache, but he knew what he needed. He needed some support for his back, and he needed Hank to be there. He needed this.

Hank poised his cock over his asshole, guiding Gavin to lift his legs up and hold onto them. Gavin moved his hands to the underside of his knees and pulled, lifting his legs into the air. He felt even more exposed. Hank could see his  _everything._ But without a word, Hank's dick started pressing inside, sliding slowly past the rim of muscles. And Gavin was left breathless.

The older man slowly penetrated him, pressing forward until their hips met, and Gavin swore he has never felt this full, so stretched open. He needed multiple minutes to get adjusted to the feeling. It was burning hot, tight as hell, uncomfortably wet because of the lube. His muscles continued squeezing hard around Hank's cock, making it impossible move. But Hank waited patiently, moving his hands up and down his body, pressing kisses against Gavin's neck, doing everything he could to help him relax. The more Hank was sucking on his neck, the weaker and more relaxed Gavin grew. He didn't care that they were still like this for so long, just breathing heavily, not moving. It was needed in order for Gavin to relax and for this to continue.

"Move", Gavin ordered, letting go of his legs and wrapping them around Hank's waist. His hands moved behind Hank's neck. "Please, fucking move."

Hank did. He looked down at the man, his eyes locking with his as he pulled out and then moved back in. Just that felt like it was too much to take. Hank did it again, moving slowly and then waiting a few seconds before he moved again. Gavin was choking in tears again. He hated crying so much. It made him look weak. But he just couldn't stop.

A pair of lips pressed over his. Gentle, but loving.  _Loving._ Gavin prayed it was real. 

Hank kept the torturing pace going for a long time before he finally started speeding up, finally fucking into Gavin for real. He could feel every inch enter and exit him, moving as deep as possible and then leaving him almost completely. First, it was just that. Minutes of Hank just moving his hips back and forth, groaning quietly against the simple kiss they were sharing. And Gavin didn't mind one bit that this wasn't exactly what he had expected to have. He didn't find it that pleasurable, not something that could get him to finish. But he was crying anyway which was kind of a turn off, and then he was with Hank, the only person who made butterflies grow in his stomach. This was completely enough for him.

Until Hank shifted a little in their position, trying out a different angle, lifting Gavin's legs a bit higher. He rocked forward. Oh.  _Oh._

Gavin knew what that was. Hank moved again, and then he was sure he was feeling his prostate for the first time. Gavin has tried to reach it before in his life but never managed, and now he finally had it. It made things much more exciting, much more pleasurable. And as Hank sped up his movements, Gavin's legs were trembling from the impact, his hands getting lost in the man's hair. This was enough for him, too. And he never wanted this to end, because the way Hank was working on him was far from shoddy. It was perfection.

A hand snaked between their bodies and wrapped around Gavin's cock, starting to stroke it in the same rhythm as Hank's thrusts. Gavin had been so damn close to cumming that with that hand around him, he was getting back to the edge easily. Gavin gasped away from the kiss, hissing through his teeth as he tried to hold on. But it was all too much. His cock felt sensitive, his prostate was being abused again and again, his muscles were starting to hurt when his legs had been hoisted up for so long. Gavin couldn't control himself. He couldn't even fight against the tears.

"Say it."

"Huh?" Gavin spat out in confusion, blinking a couple of times before he could open his eyes and look up at Hank. The man had a dead serious look in his eyes, yet there was something hidden beneath them. Something Gavin saw in his eyes at the station when Hank wanted him to confess.

"Say how you really feel about me", Hank said. He was only a little under breath, and yet he managed to do so much. His hips started rocking against Gavin faster, his hand squeezing just a little harder around his cock, and yet somehow, Hank managed to say such things with only a few hard breaths. Gavin just looked up at him, panting with his face completely red as blood started coursing faster through his veins, heating up his body until it was unbearable to even exist.

Gavin didn't know what to say. Or how to say it. He just looked up at Hank with wide teary eyes and his mouth gaping open. Gavin could feel himself coming closer, and talking was going to be extremely hard soon. So Gavin swallowed strongly and held on for his dear life.

 

 

 

 

_I love you._

 

 

 

 

Hank crashed their lips together and started pounding onto him. He was muffling against Gavin's mouth, his moans resonating through the younger one's body, every little grunt and hiss echoing in Gavin's mind over and over again. Gavin wrapped all of his limbs around Hank and held on for his dear life, starting to near the edge faster than he could handle. He moaned back against the kiss, doing his best to answer the tongue that was messily dancing over his, trying to remember to breathe before he would pass out.

His orgasm hit him like a bullet. Gavin whined desperately as he spilled over his stomach, his thighs trembling against Hank's sides. Euphoria took over his whole body, sparkles starting from his toes and running through his whole body as Gavin completely erupted, completely taken over this new kind of pleasure that took over him. Hank's hand left his sensitive cock and moved over to his waist as he started bucking harder against him, growls escaping from his throat. It was something Gavin had never felt before. The pleasure continued taking over him as his prostate was hit. Again. Again. Again.

"H-Hank --!!"

Hank pressed his mouth against Gavin's neck and bit down as he released inside Gavin. It felt wet, and it made him feel even fuller. Gavin was gasping for air, clawing at his back as Hank slowed down the pounding until he came to a full stop. Hank felt extremely warm against his body, sweat sticking their bodies together, cum dripping out of his ass. It was dirty. It smelled like sweat and other bodily fluids. His body was aching like hell. Gavin loved it.

They stayed like that for only a minute, Gavin finally feeling calm, relaxed, complete. He held onto Hank as long as he could until Hank was pulling himself out and getting up. And suddenly the sweet, heated moment between them was gone. Destroyed. 

Hank seemed distant.

 

Gavin was just able to watch as the man put himself back into his pants and started walking around the bed to collect his clothes. As he was closing the buttons of his patterned shirt, Gavin started realizing Hank was leaving. For real, this time. "Hank, no", Gavin called out for him. He was damn naked, fluids flowing down onto his sheets, and his whole body still felt so sore. This was not the moment to have anymore serious conversations. But he had to say something. "Don't leave."

Hank turned to look at him, his hands still continuing to do the buttons. He seemed completely different now. He was suddenly so distant and cold, but yet he managed to give a warm look to him. "I have to go, Gavin. You know that."

But Gavin wouldn't accept it. He doesn't want Hank to go. Enemies, friends or lovers, Gavin did not care. He wanted Hank to come back and be a part of his life again. He doesn't want Hank to leave, not after this.

Gavin pulled the covers over his crotch and gave a determined look at him. He needed to say what was on his mind. He didn't want to regret it later on. Not again.

"I don't want to live without you."

Hank blinked at him as he closed the final button. A sigh escaped from his throat. Gavin swallowed the lump back down his throat, trying to stop being so damn weak with his damn tears. But things suddenly felt bad. He wanted things to get back to good, and heated, and lovely. He didn't want things to get bad again.

Hank approached the bed and sat by the edge of it, his fingers playing with each other almost nervously. He chuckled. "I guess we weren't meant to be together, huh?"

Maybe it was true. Maybe the damn universe was against them being together, and this is why things ended like this. But Gavin was too stuck on Hank, and he refused to accept that things were not going to work out. They didn't work out when he was still the new kid at the station, and they didn't work when they got older. And they wouldn't work out now. But Gavin had a hard time accepting that.

"You should let me go, Gavin. You have to move on", Hank said quietly. His tone was serious, but a smile was covering his face. Two actions going counter-current. "There will be someone else who will love you."

"But I don't fucking want anyone else", Gavin reached for the man and grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, tugging at it to bring Hank closer. Hank's expression stayed calm, that stupid pitying smile still covering his face. Gavin swallowed strongly again, then furrowed his brows. Anger took over the sadness. His body was shaking from different reasons now. The damn headache made holding eye contact impossible.

"I can't get over you, for fuck's sake", Gavin's head fell down and gently pressed against the man's chest. "I don't want you to be gone."

Hank planted a kiss on top of his head, moving his hand to caress Gavin's back. "I'm sorry, Gavin. I wish things would have turned different for us."

That didn't sound like Hank. He has never talked this nicely to him. And Gavin just can't see Hank talking like this. It sounded like Hank was saying exactly what Gavin wanted to hear. 

A dam good bye message.

Hank pulled away from their embrace and made strong eye contact with Gavin. His hand rubbed his shoulder as a way to comfort him. But it barely made him feel better. Gavin felt the exact same now as he did before Hank came in. His head was hurting, his body felt weak, and he just wanted to cry and drink more.

"I believe that in another life, we both make better decisions and end up together", Hank said. Gavin wasn't superstitious, at least not before this night. Or then he was just crazy. But it truly felt like their relationship was thwarted by outside forces. Or maybe the world was just against him. Whatever it was, he kept hoping it wasn't real. He hoped that just the events of tonight were real and nothing else mattered. He didn't want to be with Hank in another life. He wanted Hank in this damn life.

His large hand caressed Gavin's face, a thumb swiping away a tear that was rolling down his cheek. His skin was burning from all the tears. Gavin looked at him, chewing onto his bottom lip and trying to swallow down the gulp that silenced his voice. He wanted to say something back. But he just couldn't. It was the same as in the station. Gavin found it impossible to say what he truly wanted to say.

Hank leaned in for a kiss. Chaste, simple, barely there. And it only lasted for a few seconds until he was pulling back.

 

And then he was gone. 

And Gavin was alone in his apartment again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**November 14th, 2038**

**01:51 PM**

 

 

It was snowing again. 

Gavin hated the cold. But he needed a smoke break, so here he was. Standing by the station, next to the stairs by the front door. He inhaled strongly, then blew a cloud of smoke out of his mouth.

Detroit was coming back alive extremely fast. Every possible android, deviant or not, was destroyed. The city was still left empty, but in order to keep things running, humans took over any job they were offered to keep Detroit alive and someday make it the same bright city it used to be.

But CyberLife was not giving up. Already, they had build new androids that were better and stronger than before, supposedly less 'deviant'. No one believed it. But for now, only some androids were cleaning up the city and only a few were helping at the stores and shopping malls. And multiple unfortunate androids were destroyed because no one wanted another war between humans and machines.

It came as no surprise that the station was ready to hire a damn android to take over Hank's place. Well, not exactly. Gavin was promoted Lieutenant. This new android, a model RK900, was made a damn detective, and it was assigned to be Gavin's new damn partner. Because _'you have to look after it at all times, we don't want this one to fucking deviate'_. Gavin could only wonder what happened to the prototype.

 

"You shouldn't smoke so much, Lieutenant."

 

 

The new android was exactly the same as Connor, expect its voice was a little deeper. And its coat was white. CyberLife could have at least improved the way he looked like, but somehow they managed to build the thing to look even more annoying.

"That's your second pack of cigarettes", the android noted.

"You should mind your own damn business", Gavin muttered. His head was hurting already. He didn't need a damn android to bother him. Yet, this damn thing just walked down the stairs and moved to stand next to him. Obviously, it was the same as its predecessor - Clueless. "I can detect that you have been drinking a lot, too", it noted, its hands tied behind. The android held its chin up like it knew it was better than Gavin was. It most likely was. Apparently, RK900 was supposed to be the most advanced android there was.

Gavin furrowed his brows at the thing. "How the fuck can you tell how much I've been drinking?"

"Because your shirt has drops of alcohol on it. And you're drunk."

Maybe a little. Gavin woke up earlier than intended and he had a few cans of beer for breakfast. That started being the only thing that kept him going. Coming to work felt bloody impossible because every room in the station brought up memories Gavin desperately wanted to forget. He would have stayed at home but he was needed at the station. He was the new Lieutenant, after all. And he was just like Hank. No one liked him. And now he was the one who smelled like booze.

"I ain't the first Lieutenant to be drunk at work", Gavin chuckled. He dropped the last bit of his cigar deep into the snow and then pulled out a next one, placing it between his lips. Gavin flicked his lighter open, rolling it over his knuckles just to entertain himself. He turned his eyes towards the RK900 - gazing into its silvery eyes - and turned his eyes back on the horizon. Dead city.

"You should meet Hank Anderson. He's one good man", Gavin said as he lit up his cigar, burying his lighter into his pocket afterwards. "Despite being drunk at work, too."

 

The android tilted its head to the side, looking confused. "Detective Reed", RK900 called out for him.

"You do know that Lieutenant Anderson committed suicide four days ago?"

 

 

Gavin doesn't say anything. He just blew out some smoke into the air. It's a mix of grey from the smoke and white from the cold temperature. His eyes focused on the cloud until it disappeared completely. The android looked over to the horizon with him, inspecting the few passing cars and the formation of the clouds on the sky. "I saw the flowers on his desk", RK900 said in a calm tone. "I understood you left them there after he --"

"Yeah. I know what he did", Gavin said. Usually he would spit it out onto his face. Now he was too tired to even raise his voice. He took the cigar out of his mouth and pressed it against the back of his hand until it burned. Gavin hissed and then returned the cigar back between his lips. His hand was starting to hurt like hell from all the burn marks and the torn skin caused by punching hard surfaces.

Gavin sighed and threw the rest of his cigar on the ground, stepping on top of it.

"I just wish he didn't."


End file.
